If You Carry a Lululemon Lunch Bag, I Probably Want To Punch You in the Face.

Oh man. It’s Friday, it’s been a long week, and I need to vent. Can we talk about the crazy epidemic of women EVERYWHERE carrying Lululemon lunchbags?? Like, “Oh hi. Oh why yes, I DO do yoga! How can you tell? Oh yes, Lululemon is the ONLY place I shop, obviously!” I personally find them more obnoxious than seeing a purse with a big designer logo on it. It’s probably due to the “inspirational” quotes that are smeared all over it. “Friends are MORE important than money”. Oh really? Is that why you spent $180 on a fucking sweatshirt?? Is that MORE important that spending $180 on a meal or spa day with a friend?? Barf. I would love to see what’s inside the lunchbags, because I suspect that its not always tofu and sprouts. Potato chips? Snickers bars? Your high heels for work because you INSIST on not finding comfortable cute flats, but instead wear your sneakers for the commute?

I always try to judge the women that are carrying them; to see if their faces match the emotion of exponential bliss, peace and understanding. Are they promoting the Lululemon message? Are they on a yogi high? ARE THEY “DOING ONE THING A DAY THAT SCARES THEM”?!

Umm.. nope. Let’s see, most of the women flaunting them around, (on their elbow of course, arm extended at a right angle, so the bag is perfectly displayed for no one to miss!  But let’s be honest, how could one possibly miss this gleaming beacon of bullshit?) are rushing to work, angrily typing into their phones, complaining about the weather, and probably stressing about the fact that their bank account is now empty due to maxing out on ill-fitting spandex pants. But remember ladies, “Your OUTLOOK on life is a reflection of how much you like yourself”. So let’s make sure your OUTLOOK matches what you’re preaching on your lunchbox before you start rubbing it in everyone else’s face.

PS- Wearing Lululemon clothes doesn’t instantly give you a Lululemon hot yoga bod, so please don’t kid yourself wearing skin tight leggings around the mall. Your cottage cheese thighs are showing.

Disclaimer: This is a bit of a rant, and we apologize! Just had to get it out. We love yoga and yogis, just have some weird pet peeves I guess! Anyone else bothered by the Lululemon lunchbag phenom? Or are we just crazy?


5 thoughts on “If You Carry a Lululemon Lunch Bag, I Probably Want To Punch You in the Face.

  1. OMG I am laughing at myself right now because just this week i carried my lunch to work in one of these bags. I felt bad that it was just sitting around with no purpose except collecting dust, so why not? The good news is i don’t do yoga and crossfitters (especially those who live in south Louisiana where I live) have no idea what lululemon is about. So I guess I got away with a close one, thanks for the heads up. I will bring my (paleo) lunch in a good ole paper bag next week.

  2. Pingback: Product Review: Lululemon Crops & Tops | Sleep, Eat, Gym, Repeat.

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